When we are busy with many things at
hand we take a "for granted" approach towards our family, especially
the spouse. Through my 9 years of marriage I have realised that our spouse
plays an important role in the mental balance and can contribute largely
towards happiness quotient or stress quotient.
Any relationship is like a bank account, where your account grows when you deposit cash and shrinks when you withdraw. Likewise, our relationship account grows when you do something special and every time we argue, fight, offend or give no time, our relationship account can go into zero balance.
End of the day all that we do is for our family and if we cannot keep a healthy balance between our family relationships then there is no much point left right?
Any relationship is like a bank account, where your account grows when you deposit cash and shrinks when you withdraw. Likewise, our relationship account grows when you do something special and every time we argue, fight, offend or give no time, our relationship account can go into zero balance.
End of the day all that we do is for our family and if we cannot keep a healthy balance between our family relationships then there is no much point left right?
Below are few tips that I would like to share:
Keep an open mind about each other's views
Yes I know what you are all thinking. For men a help can be something for their tummy and for many of us that is the last thing on our mind especially when exams are on the platter. However if relationship has to grow then these small things really do matter. For eg. my hubby would like me to scratch his back for 2 minutes. It is a very boring activity, but just for 2 minutes is hardly a big deal so I always agree for this and he is 'Mr.Happy'. So whenever we get some spare time; lets find creative ways to please our man in a jiffy.
Use golden words. Say, "Thank you! Excuse me. Please... I'm sorry" appropriately
One thing that we take for granted is RESPECT. No wonder the divorce
rate in this developed countries are at an all time high. Is'nt it a brave act,
if we start saying 'the magic words' more frequently rather than expect our
spouse to make the first move. At our workplace these words come more
naturally, then why can't we bring them to our most cherished home? Yes,
'Sorry' may be the last word in women's dictionary, however it makes a world of
good to the husbands'.Know each other's needs and expectations
There are needs and there are expectations from each other. Many issues which we spend a great deal of time arguing and dragging only to realise that, what really matter are never talked about and buried deep in the ground. Identify these issues and bring it up to communicate with each other. One key point is to understand each other's temperament to avoid the hazard button. If there is a disagreement, abstain getting into Ekta Kapoor's-soap opera. Men may not understand this need, instead may try to give you solutions free of charge.
Accommodate each other's idiosyncrasies
There are many weird and strange things in each one of us and the more we try to change that in others, it will only contribute to frustrations. Rather accept it as a combo-offer. For eg. my husband if given the previlege to do the groceries, loves bringing home quantities that can last ages. He will buy a wide variety of shampoos, cleansers, food items, supplements etc and use maybe 50% of the items and the others wait for the expiry date to get in thrashcan. I tried to change his ways for 5-6 years and did not succeed even 2%. Evantually I gave up and agree he wants to try out new things and has a phobia that the supermarket may run out of stock, if he does not buy them in advance.
Positively on the other hand he has stopped buying books since he realised he has ran out of space. He was an avid collector of books and most of them he finishes reading in just one sitting. Gosh! if I had half of that speed I would not have to sit late hours reading the massive text books.
